Let’s talk about worth…. Says no woman ever.
The concept of worth tends to be something that society attaches to how well we follow the rules or how well we represent ourselves within our own communities. I almost feel that my initial reaction to categorizing my worth, on a good day, lies in the roles I take pride and ownership in: servant of Jesus, daughter, wife, friend, hard worker, etc.
As humans, we are way more complex and have way more dynamics in our life than what we pride ourselves in. So on a bad day, what if your worth is being categorized from your shame/guilt, or what people think about you. For me it can tend to be: lesbian, unable to communicate well, emotionally distant, etc.
How do we process worth when your self talk or other people’s words are telling you that you are less than worthy?
Sometimes we choose situations that are not what God has for our lives and sometimes things happen to us that we have no control over. The end result is the shame and guilt that the enemy speaks over us to make us feel “less than”. Less than a daughter of God, less than anointed in our calling, less than the woman God sees us as, regardless of those circumstances. The thing is that worth has nothing to do with what we have done, good or bad, and everything to do with God and what He has done for us.
I always tend to think of Job when I battle with where my worth lies. If you do not know the story of Job, I highly suggest reading that part of scripture. The book is basically about a solid man of God who experiences total loss and devastation but still holds on to the truth of God's character throughout his circumstances. Although our situations may be very different from Job’s, I think that Job’s heart posture is one to take hold of.
It says in Job chapter 1:13-22:
“Now there was a day when his sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in their oldest brother’s house, and there came a messenger to Job and said, “The oxen were plowing and the donkeys feeding beside them, and the Sabeans fell upon them and took them and struck the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” While he was yet speaking, there came another and said, “The fire of God fell from heaven and burned up the sheep and the servants and consumed them, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” While he was yet speaking, there came another and said, “The Chaldeans formed three groups and made a raid on the camels and took them and struck down the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” While he was yet speaking, there came another and said, “Your sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in their oldest brother’s house, and behold, a great wind came across the wilderness and struck the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young people, and they are dead, and I alone have escaped to tell you. Then Job rose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshipped. And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”
Wow.
I had written in my bible next to this verse: “My worship should never be dependent on the “goodness” of my circumstances.”
We worship a God whose character is constant and never changing but we live in an imperfect world full of people that sin, including you and me. It only makes sense that the core of our worth gets wrapped up with our worldly identity instead of our heavenly Father.
Job was clearly tested and we are all going to experience the tension between a fallen world and what God actually says. The reality is that we struggle on earth - emotionally, physically, mentally. We struggle with sexual sins: pornography, same-sex attraction, sex before marriage, cheating, etc. We struggle with addictions, overdoses, eating disorders, mental illnesses, suicide, physical illnesses, etc. We struggle with the things that have happened to us: sexual abuse, verbal abuse, violence, poor parenting choices. Sometimes we even take on the struggles and circumstances of the ones we love. There are things that God calls us not to do that we still end up wrapped up in or we end up experiencing the ramifications of other people’s sins. However, despite all of these earthly situations, our worship should never be dependent on our circumstances, simply because our circumstances do not change the God we serve who dictates our true worth.
What I want to make very clear is that the things we have done or the things that have been done to us do not define our worth. (LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK)
What we have done or the things that have been done to us do not define our worth.
Yes, our experiences shape the person we are but they do not define us. Our core identity must be firmly planted in Jesus. That gives me the power and authority to say unashamedly - Yes, I dated women for 10 years of my life and identified as a lesbian, but because of the grace of God my worth is found in Him and not what I have done or what is said to be an abomination. I do not feel guilt for my past because it is a testimony to show how God has healed and continues to heal my heart. He has taken the time to chase after me. He is constant and unchanging and his desire is to know me. His desire is to know you and to bring restoration to areas of your life that you feel do not desire to be touched by God. All of you is worthy, even the things you do not want anyone to see. Everyone handles their experiences differently. Some people may wear their experiences as a badge of honor. Whichever way you identify your circumstances should never take the place of the God who has created you and calls you by name.
I think we need to be more like Job. We need to change our heart posture to be willing to worship a God that loves us despite what we bring to his feet and despite what our circumstances look like. This in turn allows us to find worth in everything we deem unworthy because we worship a God that redeems all things.
Author: Taylor VanEssendelft
