Alessandra Trevisan
Seasons of Waiting
Seasons of Waiting
Alessandra Trevisan
Stop, All the Way: The Importance of Rest
Stop, All the Way: The Importance of Rest
Alessandra Trevisan
The Unhealthy Spiral of Social Media
The Unhealthy Spiral of Social Media
Alessandra Trevisan
Three Things Grief Taught Me
Three Things Grief Taught Me
Alessandra Trevisan
Rooted: The Most Important Book I've Read in ...
Rooted: The Most Important Book I've Read in 2020

Write Your Fight Song

Ever have thoughts like .. “Yeah… God is good, but He’s good to everyone but me.” Or, “Yeah, He’s good in a far-away, big-picture kind of way.” 

I think when we’re in the trenches and in the thick of it, it’s hard to remember God’s kindness. It’s easy to look at situations and circumstances and then question whether or not God really is kind to me, whether He really loves me. Not a doubt that He loves, or that He’s kind. But a doubt that His kindness and love can extend to me. As if you are the one exception to the rule who got in by the seat of her pants. 

I remember when I was doing missions work in Cape Town, South Africa there was a girl there who I interacted with frequently and got to know pretty well. One thing she would do is write out her own versions of the psalms. There was something anxiety-inducing about that for me, but also awe-inducing. Her relationship with Jesus was so evidently beautiful and intimate, and you saw how she lived in His love for her and His kindness towards her. 

One of the several times we sat together, we talked about how she was starting this journey of writing out her own psalms - not in a “I’m going to copy the Bible type way” (it’s ridiculous how much my then research-oriented, academic heart was terrified of plagiarising Jesus LOL). 

She told me she was writing out her own psalms, because it gave her parameters to flesh out her feelings with God. She would write, like David, about the troubles of her heart and the frustrating parts of her circumstances as she was walking through a challenging time. But she would also write, like David, and exalt God. Ending her psalms with how good He has been and how good He will be.


I took those moments about her psalm-writing home with me and they never really left. 

Fast forward to now, and I’m reading through this book Suffering by Paul David Tripp. It’s taking me a while because it is so rich, deep and helpful. He doesn’t condemn sufferers, he walks with them, encourages them, and pastorally reminds them of God. But tucked inside his book, is a chapter on fear and how fear leads us to forgetfulness, and this is what he says: 

“Perhaps there is no greater weakness in the heart and life of a sufferer than forgetfulness. Because suffering assaults your mind with so many new things to consider, to face, to decide, to wonder about, or to fear, it’s so easy to lose sight of and to practically forget the things that have been your motivation, your comfort, your security, and your rock of hope. This is such a problem that the psalms, which portray for us the battle for a heart of faith in the midst of the trials of life, talk repeatedly about the need to remember. … If you are going to fight forgetfulness, you’re going to have to do this again and again. Doing so is not a denial of present difficulty; rather it forces you to look at it through the lens of the presence, power and love of your Savior.” (63)

Paul David Tripp, Suffering

Do you know what my friend in South Africa was teaching me and herself? How to combat forgetfulness. 

Do you want to know what David reminds us to do over and over again in the psalms? Combat forgetfulness. 

Valleys and desert seasons feel barren. It’s hard to remember what God has done, if there has been any good that has come from it, and if His faithfulness and favor will be experienced in the future. But just because it feels a certain way, doesn’t mean we should stop ourselves from  remembering His love, kindness and faithfulness. 

Hard seasons don’t erase all that God has done, even if the memories seem like a mirage or an illusion. 

So we’re going to practice remembrance alongside my friend and alongside David. We’re going to write out our own fight songs. And we’re going to use Psalm 136 as an example. 

Before we do that though, I want to come alongside you and say - don’t worry about it being perfect. Don’t worry about whether or not it makes sense - as long as it makes sense to you. 

You’re not remembering your history with Jesus for others, you’re remembering your history with Jesus to fight forgetfulness. 

It doesn’t have to read like David. It doesn’t have to read like C.S. Lewis or any other person out there. It should read like you. And no one has to see it but you. 

Write what comes to mind and take any pressure off of yourself to make it sound “pretty.” It’s going to be beautiful simply because you wrote it, and God honors that. 


Grab your Bible, a pen, and a journal. Open up to Psalm 136, and write your fight song. Remember His goodness and His kindness. Remember what He’s brought you out of. Remind yourself that His steadfast love really does endure forever and those aren’t just pretty words or platitudes we use. Recount the ways He has been faithful, and then watch as your spirit comes alive again with hope. 

Here’s my fight song as an example: 


Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,

For his steadfast love endures forever. 

Give thanks to the Creator of everything,

For His steadfast love endures forever. 

Give thanks to the King of kings, 

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who breathed life into my lungs,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who knit me together in my mom’s womb,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who authored every day of my life before I breathed my first breath,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who never considered me a mistake, but a gift;

For His steadfast love endures forever; 

To Him who pursued me and wanted my heart,

For His steadfast love endures forever,

And never gave up on me,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who paid the ultimate ransom for my soul,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

Because He considers me worthy,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who bottles up every tear,

For His steadfast love endures forever; 

To Him who draws near in my times of pain,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who is my protection,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

Who protected me from my ex,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

And protects me from my enemies,

For His steadfast love endures forever; 

To Him who made a way,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who miraculously healed my hip,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who called me His own,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

And gave me a purpose and a vision for my life,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who provided for me miraculously, 

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who let me see my dad’s salvation moment,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

And healed father wounds that were deep,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who supernaturally provided a way out of research,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who called me to California,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

And is drawing nearer to me,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

And revealing His kindness in beautiful ways,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

Give thanks to God,

For HIs steadfast love endures forever!

It's Time to Dream Again

If there’s one thing this season has revealed to me, it’s that I’m afraid to dream with God. 

How’s that for some honesty on a Thursday morning?

I don’t think it would be an oversight to say that 2020 was a struggle. I went into it thinking it would be my year in so many ways. And while I launched Behold and started this long-held dream of mine, 2020 was also filled with a lot of heartaches. 

I’m a natural extrovert. So being forced into quarantine to me felt like my lifeline was being cut off. 

Quality time is my top love language also, so not seeing people left me a bit of a mess.

I lost my father. And not to COVID, but to a 12 year-long battle with cancer. We were told by medical professionals that he had 6 months to live, yet we only had him for 6 weeks. 

I struggled through prophetic words spoken over me about my dad being at my wedding.

I wrestled with prophetic words, dreams, and visions about ministry and my future that seemed dead and in a grave. 

I walked through a financial hit. 

Job dreams died. 

Not to mention everything that happened in the world in 2020. 

Etc., etc., etc...

It seemed like everywhere I looked in 2020 there was death and heartache.

In Lord of the Rings, you know that scene when Boromir is getting hit with all of those arrows? And you’re like, come on guys, enough is enough? Yeah. That’s a pretty good picture of how I felt coming out of 2020. 

I think I’ve always been somewhat of a risk-taker. I love the crazy feeling of being out on a limb with Jesus. But 2020 left me gun-shy. 2020 left me scared to trust Jesus in any capacity because I was convinced He would pull the rug out from underneath me and yell “SIKE!” Because to be completely transparent, that’s what the entirety of 2020 felt like. 

So that meant when it came to believing God for things in 2021, I was hesitant. I was afraid. I was nervous. I expected the rug to be pulled out from under me and I didn’t expect God to be faithful. 

But, in Jesus’ goodness and kindness, he gave me a swift kick in the butt. Through trusted friends, mentors, and time with Him, over and over again I kept hearing the phrase, “it’s time to dream again.” 

It started with trusted friends holding me accountable and asking me the hard questions. Asking me why I seemed scared to dream and trust God; calling me out for ways I wasn’t acting like myself. 

It developed into mentors speaking over me that God wanted me to dream again. Reminding me constantly that the Lord doesn’t speak in anxiety, fear, or disappointment. Reminding me that, as my good Father, God wanted me to continue to come to Him with these wild and crazy dreams, He wanted to see me with child-like faith again. He wanted to exceed my expectations and reveal Himself as a Father who gives good gifts to His children. 

And then lastly, it was the grace of Jesus showing me in my devotional time that He had me. It was witnessing God reveal Himself as faithful, time and time again. The still small voice of the Holy Spirit prompting me to dream again with Him. 

I don’t know if you find yourself in a similar situation. I don’t know if 2020 was hard for you and 2021 doesn’t seem like it’s getting that much better. Or, maybe you’ve been thriving. If so, I want to shake your hand and hug you. 

One thing I do know is that dreaming with God is a beautiful thing. I know that He is trustworthy. I know that He is faithful. And I know that He is good. 

So when He calls me, and you, to dream again. He doesn’t call us to dream again because He’s wanting to pull a “sike” on us. He’s calling us to dream again because He wants to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we could think, ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). 

It takes humility, to put long-held dreams down and to exchange them for the plans that Jesus has for us. It takes humility, it takes vulnerability, and it takes trust. 

I have to remind myself, as I dream with Jesus, that His plans for me are good. That doesn’t mean they are exempt from pain, we do live in a fallen world. But, ultimately, His plans for me are for His glory. And that? Well, it’s the best thing to dream towards. 

I’m not out of the woods yet and I don’t have everything figured out when it comes to overcoming being timid with dreaming again.  But day by day, I’m exchanging my felt truth for His absolute truth. I’m learning, again, that He is trustworthy. Day by day I’m learning to remind my soul that His plans for me are the best and that dreaming with Him is the best place to be. 


In the comments below, write down one God-dream you’re believing for in this season, and let’s pray about them together!


When You Feel Unworthy of His Promises

Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time in Genesis. This journey through the Bible, it’s been as though the words and stories are brand new to me and it’s felt like the first time reading these stories. 

And you want to know what’s stuck out to me? 

God is faithful. 


I know, I know. You’re probably thinking .. okay Allie, seminary has taught you that?! But hear me out. 

I know for myself that, more often than not, I like to complicate things. I want to open Genesis and figure out a revelation the world has never heard before. I want to dive deep into the text to see some deep awareness of how the Hebrew word can apply to my life. 


But in my attempt to complicate I overlook the beauty of the simple revelations.


And this time, all Jesus has been showing me is that, quite simply, He is faithful. 


Over on the podcast (here) I’ve been talking about the patriarchs of the faith, which I definitely think you should check out after reading this! I remember reading Genesis the first few times and being so caught up with how amazing Abraham seemed. I was so struck by his faith and his obedience. And while that’s real, to an extent, in being so caught up in Abraham’s story I forgot that it was really God’s story. 


I’m a perfectionist and I like to be active in my faith. So every time I read the story of Abraham, I would look at ways to emulate Abraham’s faith. I’d be so caught up in how Abraham walked his journey. All the while, completely ignoring that Abraham’s story wasn’t a story about him, it was a story about God. I would gloss over Abraham’s flaws and propensities to sin. I would gloss over the times he messed up, except for Ishmael, cause that one’s kinda in your face. 


Fast forward to this time reading through Genesis and I was blown away by how messed up Abraham was at times. I mean, this guy lied about his wife twice. As if he didn’t learn his lesson the first time. 


Here’s the thing - this time, reading Genesis, I realized that Abraham was a human, just like me. That Abraham’s propensity to doubt and lie mirrors my own. That when I come up with my own plans to make God’s promises happen, Abraham can relate. 

The reality of Abraham’s story is that God is faithful. 


Amidst Abraham’s lies, doubts, fears, frustrations, attempts to hurry the timeline along … God is faithful. 


Last week I wrote this in my journal: 


“Jesus, I am believing the lie that I’m missing out on your promises because of some fatal sin or flaw in my life. I’m believing the lie that I don’t deserve the promises you’ve spoken over me because I’ve done something to not deserve them. The vow I’ve made is that I’ll never be good enough for your promises and it has made my heart feel hopeless.” 


(How’s that for some vulnerability?)


Do you want to know what Abraham’s story shows me? 


That these thoughts I’m believing are exactly that, they’re lies. They are lies from the pit of hell to get me more captivated by fear than focused on Jesus. 


When I read the story of Abraham, I see a faithful God despite the flaws of Abraham. I see a God who comes through despite Abraham’s doubts. I see a God who holds up His Word and His promises despite the sins Abraham committed. 


And I take that same perspective and apply it to my life … 


In the story God is writing over my life, I see a faithful God despite my flaws. I see a God who has and will continue to come through for me despite my doubts. And I see a God who holds up His Word and His promises over me despite the sins I have and continue to commit. 


My story isn’t mine. It’s the Lord’s. It’s God working in my life to bring glory to His name. And the way He brings glory to His name is showing His faithfulness time and time and time again. 


Friends, I wanted to get incredibly vulnerable today to share a glimpse of where I’m at. I’ve been wrestling with these thoughts and lies of not feeling worthy of the promises God has spoken over me because I’m not good enough. 


But I’m learning to rest in the reality that the promises of God aren’t dependent on me. They’re dependent on Him. 


So I break the vow that I have to be perfect to inherit His promises. And I step into the truth that nothing can stop the plans and promises of the Lord. It’s the Lord who keeps His Word. 


I break the vow that my perfectionism helps to spur God’s timeline along. And I step into the truth that He knows the plans that He has for me, and at the appointed time they will come to pass. 


I break the vow that I’m unworthy of His promises. And I step into the truth that I am worthy because His ultimate sacrifice has deemed me worthy, not my strength, power or works. 


I have to trust the scriptures when they say: 


Psalm 138:2 (KJV)

 “I will worship toward thy holy temple, and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness and for thy truth: for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.”


Psalm 89:34 (ESV)

I will not violate my covenant or alter the word that went forth from my lips.

Isaiah 55:11 (ESV)

So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it

.

And I have to trust that when the Lord says He has the best time in mind for His promises to be fulfilled, He really, really does. 


When You Feel Like You Aren't Hearing From God

As a pastor, one of the questions I get asked a lot is “How do I hear from God?” Another question I get asked is, “I feel like God isn’t talking to me anymore, how do I get Him to speak again?” 

And, if I’m being completely honest, I go through seasons where I feel as though I’m not hearing from God either. I question myself on how to hear from Him; if I’m doing everything right. And something I’ve realized is that the majority of the time I make it a lot more complicated than it actually is. 

I think we get in our heads that there’s going to be this loud booming voice, that time is going to stand still, and I’m going to know beyond all reasonable doubt that I have heard the voice of God. It’s as though we think that the moment we get saved, we immediately know the voice of God and have this deep intellectual relationship with Him, that for some reason is entirely in old English. 

But you want to know a secret? 

Hearing the voice of God takes developing a relationship with Him. 

It takes time. It takes patience. It takes humility. It takes growth and maturity. 

Just like we grow in relationships with others, we grow in our relationship with God. And when we grow deeper in our relationship with God, we learn His voice and how He speaks. 

But I also recognize that sometimes we hit spiritual ruts where we feel like we don’t know what happened. Suddenly we’re in a season where it feels dry and feels like a desert or wilderness. And so I want to take some time to speak to people who find themselves there - who feel like they aren’t hearing from God anymore. So here are three questions to ask yourself when you feel like you aren’t hearing from God - 


  1. Am I making room for Him to speak? 

Okay, maybe this seems obvious. But stick with me. 

Sometimes, when I have my devotional time with Jesus, I get so caught up in what I want to pray and what I want to say to Him that I forget to make space for Him to speak back to me. 

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and you feel like you just can’t get a word in? I have. And it is annoying. I feel like I can’t get a word in, so internally I’ll just detach from the conversation. If I’m on the phone, sometimes I’ll busy myself doing other things and throw out an “mmhmm” or “yeah!” every so often. 


Now, I’m not saying God ever throws out those responses to us, but I am saying that sometimes we can be that person. We can be so focused on getting what we want to say out of our systems, that we forget we’re in a conversation with God. And there are two people in that conversation. 

The best thing you can do is to make room for Him. A friend of mine once told me that she started putting a timer on for 5-10 minutes at the end of her devotional time, and would just leave that space to hear from God. She would start that time off by saying “Okay God, I’ve vented to you, please speak to me about this situation or anything else you want to speak to me about.” And God was faithful to speak to her. 

So make sure that when you’re in a season where you feel like you aren’t hearing from Him, that you’re making space for Him to speak. 

2. What other voices are dominating my mind and my life? 

We live in a society with a lot of noise. From social media to Netflix, to work, to podcasts, to our flesh, to the enemy, and to the world. There are a lot of ways for us to get distracted. 

I think it’s important to practice this several times a year, but especially when we feel as though God is silent. We need to be able to take inventory of the noise and the voices that are speaking into our lives. 

A few weeks ago I felt challenged by God. I was always listening to something. Now, granted, a lot of times that was a podcast in the background. But I felt like Jesus was really pressing me to have some silence. While God can use podcasts to speak to me, I wasn’t creating any space to hear Him for myself. 

Maybe the world is the voice dominating your life right now. Maybe you’re so caught up with making sure you can talk to co-workers about the new Netflix show or the Friends reunion. Maybe you’re letting the voice of politics drown out any potential to hear from God. Or, maybe you’re wanting to entertain the desires of your flesh and the only noise you hear right now is everything you want. 

We have to be intentional to take inventory of those voices and the noise we are surrounding ourselves with. But it doesn’t stop there.

We also have to be willing to remove those voices and fill the space with the right ones. 

3. What does my time in the Word look like? 

I’m going to be a bit brutal with this one. You won’t know what God is saying to you if you are not in the Word. 

The Scripture is God-breathed. So that means they are God’s words to us. If I want to know the tone of God’s voice? I go to the Bible. If I want to know His thoughts on something? I go to the Bible. If I want to know if He hears me, or if He’s going to get me through this season? I go to the Bible. 

A lot of the time, the time I am spending in the Word and my perceived ability to hear His voice is correlated. 

If I am intentional to get dinner with a friend every other week, why am I not intentionally spending time with God, in His Word, every day? 

I have to take inventory of whether or not I am spending time in His Word. 


But, maybe you’re reading this and you’re thinking “Yeah, Allie, I get it. I just don’t know how to read God’s Word.” Sometimes we can think the Bible is intimidating, but if you sign up for my newsletter here, you get a free devotional guide.

When I approach Scripture, and a verse sticks out to me. Usually, I ask myself a few questions about that verse, and those questions are found on my devotional guide. These questions help me to interact with the scripture, hear what God is saying, and pray through them.

I Will Remember

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer for he said, “Till now the Lord has helped us.” 1 Samuel 7:12


Last month, I was finally able to meet my little nephew! Six months is a very long time before being able to meet someone so special. As you can imagine, I was beside myself in love. I could be very biased, but he is absolutely perfect, super cute, and has a great personality (he never cries). Between my mom and sister, we must have taken close to 200 pictures in a one-week period. 


We wanted to remember every moment, every little smile, and every sound he made. We wanted to imprint this special time in our memory. We were intentional about spending time in the moment, while we were there. Now that we are home we talk about our time in California and with the family often. We look at the pictures we took because we want to be back during that time and place with our precious boy. 


Nowadays it’s easy to remember special moments, snap a picture and post it. We get reminded of it every year because of Facebook memories. It’s not always easy to remember that time we overcame something or when God brought deliverance, or when He provided supernaturally. But those moments are the ones that strengthen our faith, that help us to keep going. Those are the moments we should remember. 

The Bible reminds us to remember the goodness of the Lord in Joshua 4: 5-7":

And Joshua said to them, “Pass on before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and take up each of you a stone upon his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the people of Israel, that this may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to come, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it passed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever.”


God knew that the Israelites wouldn’t always remember the goodness of the Lord. they wouldn’t always remember the miracles that He did for them. He had them pick up stones on one side of the Jordan River and bring them over on dry land to the other side. This was so that they had a visual reminder of God’s miracle. The waters of the Jordan River would go back up and people wouldn’t be able to walk through it on dry land. They were placed in a spot where they could be seen.


We need to create our own stones of remembrance. Sometimes it’s journaling or sharing the stories with our community. When life gets tough and we feel like we can’t keep going and God has left us we can look back on His faithfulness in our lives. Rereading our journal can serve as a pivotal moment in our walk. Many times those that have walked alongside us will remind us of the goodness of God when we are unable to see or remember for ourselves. Having a trusted community is such a blessing when it comes to remembering. 


I encourage you to place those stones out where you will be able to see them. There are many things we can do to “set up our stones”. Draw or paint a memory collage, decorate actual stones and place them in the garden. Journal those moments when you see the faithfulness of God. Get a community that will encourage you and walks alongside you during those really difficult seasons but also those really awesome seasons. We aren’t meant to walk through this life alone. God didn’t tell only one tribe to bring over a stone He told all twelve. The impact would be greater than just one lonesome stone. So find your tribe, set your stones, see what God has done in your lives, and be encouraged.


Let's Talk About Worth

Let’s talk about worth…. Says no woman ever. 

The concept of worth tends to be something that society attaches to how well we follow the rules or how well we represent ourselves within our own communities. I almost feel that my initial reaction to categorizing my worth, on a good day, lies in the roles I take pride and ownership in: servant of Jesus, daughter, wife, friend, hard worker, etc. 

As humans, we are way more complex and have way more dynamics in our life than what we pride ourselves in. So on a bad day, what if your worth is being categorized from your shame/guilt, or what people think about you. For me it can tend to be: lesbian, unable to communicate well, emotionally distant, etc. 

How do we process worth when your self talk or other people’s words are telling you that you are less than worthy?

Sometimes we choose situations that are not what God has for our lives and sometimes things happen to us that we have no control over. The end result is the shame and guilt that the enemy speaks over us to make us feel “less than”. Less than a daughter of God, less than anointed in our calling, less than the woman God sees us as, regardless of those circumstances. The thing is that worth has nothing to do with what we have done, good or bad, and everything to do with God and what He has done for us. 

I always tend to think of Job when I battle with where my worth lies. If you do not know the story of Job, I highly suggest reading that part of scripture. The book is basically about a solid man of God who experiences total loss and devastation but still holds on to the truth of God's character throughout his circumstances. Although our situations may be very different from Job’s, I think that Job’s heart posture is one to take hold of. 

It says in Job chapter 1:13-22:

“Now there was a day when his sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in their oldest brother’s house, and there came a messenger to Job and said, “The oxen were plowing and the donkeys feeding beside them, and the Sabeans fell upon them and took them and struck the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” While he was yet speaking, there came another and said, “The fire of God fell from heaven and burned up the sheep and the servants and consumed them, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” While he was yet speaking, there came another and said, “The Chaldeans formed three groups and made a raid on the camels and took them and struck down the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” While he was yet speaking, there came another and said, “Your sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in their oldest brother’s house, and behold, a great wind came across the wilderness and struck the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young people, and they are dead, and I alone have escaped to tell you. Then Job rose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshipped. And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Wow. 

I had written in my bible next to this verse: “My worship should never be dependent on the “goodness” of my circumstances.”

 We worship a God whose character is constant and never changing but we live in an imperfect world full of people that sin, including you and me. It only makes sense that the core of our worth gets wrapped up with our worldly identity instead of our heavenly Father. 

Job was clearly tested and we are all going to experience the tension between a fallen world and what God actually says. The reality is that we struggle on earth - emotionally, physically, mentally. We struggle with sexual sins: pornography, same-sex attraction, sex before marriage, cheating, etc. We struggle with addictions, overdoses, eating disorders, mental illnesses, suicide, physical illnesses, etc. We struggle with the things that have happened to us: sexual abuse, verbal abuse, violence, poor parenting choices. Sometimes we even take on the struggles and circumstances of the ones we love. There are things that God calls us not to do that we still end up wrapped up in or we end up experiencing the ramifications of other people’s sins. However, despite all of these earthly situations, our worship should never be dependent on our circumstances, simply because our circumstances do not change the God we serve who dictates our true worth.

What I want to make very clear is that the things we have done or the things that have been done to us do not define our worth. (LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK)

What we have done or the things that have been done to us do not define our worth.

Yes, our experiences shape the person we are but they do not define us. Our core identity must be firmly planted in Jesus. That gives me the power and authority to say unashamedly - Yes, I dated women for 10 years of my life and identified as a lesbian, but because of the grace of God my worth is found in Him and not what I have done or what is said to be an abomination. I do not feel guilt for my past because it is a testimony to show how God has healed and continues to heal my heart. He has taken the time to chase after me. He is constant and unchanging and his desire is to know me.  His desire is to know you and to bring restoration to areas of your life that you feel do not desire to be touched by God. All of you is worthy, even the things you do not want anyone to see. Everyone handles their experiences differently. Some people may wear their experiences as a badge of honor. Whichever way you identify your circumstances should never take the place of the God who has created you and calls you by name. 

I think we need to be more like Job. We need to change our heart posture to be willing to worship a God that loves us despite what we bring to his feet and despite what our circumstances look like. This in turn allows us to find worth in everything we deem unworthy because we worship a God that redeems all things. 

Author: Taylor VanEssendelft

The Hard Road of Obedience

One of the most impactful books I’ve ever read is Hinds Feet on High Places. Someone, early on in my faith journey, had recommended it to me - I can’t even remember who - and it’s been one of those books that has stuck with me through the years. 


The story follows Much Afraid, on her journey with the Good Shepherd, to the high places. Much Afraid is a character that believes, but isn’t fully invested. All she wants is healed legs, and at a chance encounter with the Good Shepherd, He promises her that if she follows him through to the high places, she will be healed. So we go on a journey with her through the deserts, wildernesses and mountains to her fulfilled promise. She partners with Sorrow and Suffering to climb the mountain. Has moments of absolute frustration and utter joy. And then she makes it, and is transformed into Grace-and-Glory. 


Much Afraid’s story is a story of obedience and breakthrough. And it is one that has resonated with me through every season. I’m probably not doing it justice, but I highly recommend picking it up or listening to it. 


The reason I bring up Hinds Feet on High Places is that  there are several portions of it that come to mind when I think about the road of obedience. 


I think sometimes we do the word a disservice, and we can paint it as this beautiful, fluffy thing. As if all it is is a momentary yes. 


A lot of times, at least for me, obedience looks messy. It looks hard. It looks like a momentary yes - but a return to that yes to remind myself of what God has spoken, why a yes to Him is better than a yes to any desire I may have outside of Him, and, if I’m being honest, moments like Job where I wrestle with God. Obedience to me can look like a constricting throat, a pounding chest, doubt and fear. And sometimes, obedience can look like walking into something without my feelings following it. 


Recently, I’ve felt the Lord shift some things for me and start to speak to me about certain plans He has for me. Plans that, if I’m being totally honest, seem to contradict every thing I’ve ever felt called to or felt that He’s spoken over me. 


Last week I was processing through some things with Him, and this portion of Hinds Feet came to mind: 


“She stopped dead and said to them, ‘We mustn’t go down there. The Shepherd has called me to the High Places. We must find some path which goes up, but certainly not down there.” But they made signs to her that she was to follow them down the steep pathway to the desert below. 

Much-Afraid looked to left and right, but though it seemed incredible, there was no way possible by which they could continue to climb upward. The hill they were on ended abruptly at this precipice, and the rocky cliffs towered above them in every direction straight as walls with no possible foothold. 

“I can’t go down there,” panted Much-Afraid, sick with shock and fear. “He can never mean that-never! He called me up to the High Places, and this is an absolute contradiction of all that he promised.’ 

She then lifted up her voice and called desperately, “Shepherd, come to me. Oh, I need you. Come and help me.” 

In a moment he was there, standing beside her.

“Shepherd,” she said despairingly, “I can’t understand this. The guides you gave me say that we must go down there into that desert, turning right away from the High Places altogether. You don’t mean that, do you? You can’t contradict yourself. Tell them we are not to go there, and show us another way. Make a way for us, Shepherd, as you promised.” 

He looked at her and answered very gently, “That is the path, Much-Afraid, and you are to go down there.”

“Oh, no,” she cried. “You can’t mean it. You said if I would trust you, you would bring me to the High Places, and that path leads right away from them. It contradicts all that you promised.”

“No,” said the Shepherd, “it is not contradiction, only postponement for the best to become possible.”

Much-Afraid felt as though he had stabbed her to the heart. “You mean,” she said incredulously, “you really mean that I am to follow that path down and down into that wilderness and then over that desert, away from the mountains indefinitely? Why” (and there was a sob of anguish in her voice) “it may be months, even years, before that path leads back to the mountains again. O Shepherd, do you mean it is indefinite postponement?”

He bowed his head silently, and Much-Afraid sank on her knees at his feet, almost overwhelmed. He was leading her away from her heart’s desire altogether and gave no promise at all as to when he would bring her back. As she looked out over what seemed an endless desert, the only path she could see led farther and farther away from the High Places, and it was all desert. 

Then he answered very quietly, “Much-Afraid, do you love me enough to accept the postponement and the apparent contradiction of the promise, and to go down there with me into the desert?” 

She was still crouching at his feet, sobbing as if her heart would break, but now she looked up through her tears, caught his hand in hers, and said, trembling, “I do love you, you know that I love you. Oh, forgive me because I can’t help my tears. I will go down with you into the wilderness, right away from the promise, if you really wish it. Even if you cannot tell me why it has to be, I will go with you, for you know I do love you, and you have the right to choose for me anything that you please.” 


Gosh. This part. It always hits me right in my feels. 


I think because it portrays obedience so beautifully and poignantly.  


God’s ways are not my ways. And a lot of times what I define as obedience or as the timeline for a promise is the exact opposite of what God determines. In an Amazon Prime world, I want the character to sustain the promise and the promise fulfilled in approximately 2-5 business days. 


But that is very rarely the case. 


Many times, my timeline and God’s timeline clash together in a moment like Much-Afraid and the Shepherd. Him guiding her away from the perceived immediacy of a promise, not out of punishment, but for “the best to become possible.” 


I’m in a season right now where it feels like God is leading me in the opposite direction of the promises he has spoken over me and there has had to be a real reckoning and processing. While I don’t know that I’m being led into a desert, I do feel Jesus saying to me “Alessandra, do you love me enough to accept the postponement and the apparent contradiction of the promise, and to go down there with me into the desert?” 


And, like Much-Afraid, with trembling hands and lips I’m standing before Him saying “I will go down with you into the wilderness, right away from the promise, if you really wish it. Even if you can’t tell me why, I’ll go with you. For you know I love you, and you have the right to choose for me anything you please.” 


My friends, sometimes obedience is a joyful and celebratory yes. Other times, our obedience is a tear-filled moment of apparent contradiction.


But you want to know the beauty of it? Much-Afraid makes it to the high places, she gets healed and gets new legs from the Shepherd, and she is renamed Grace-and-Glory. It is the character that is developed in her through the desert and wilderness seasons, through the apparent contradiction of obedience, that enables her to make it. It’s the stones of remembrance she picks up along the way to remind her of the Shepherd’s never ending faithfulness. These moments of apparent contradiction allow for deeper intimacies with the Shepherd. And these moments ultimately lead her to not crave the healing for herself, but to show others how good and faithful the Shepherd really is. 


My friend - do you want a promise fulfilled because of a desire for that thing? Or do you want a promise fulfilled to bring glory to God? 


It’s a hard question to answer. Because I sit in between the two. Yes, I want to be married. Yes, I want that new job with the pay raise. Yes, I want to see my brother come to Jesus because I want a family that is all going to heaven. But. I also want to be married because after a life of trauma, finding a safe space in a husband after a long journey of singleness shows that God can soften my hardened heart and do a deep work in me, and anyone. I want that new job because it shows how God gives good gifts to His children and opens doors that no man can open. I want to see my brother come to know the Lord because what a testimony to the miraculous power of grace it will be that my highly intellectual brother met the person of Jesus.  

Obedience requires perspective shifts and deep heart work. So say yes to Him, friends, you won’t regret it. 


Therefore, Have Hope

I am sure after the unpredictable, scary, emotional ride that was 2020, many of us can be left with questions, doubts and insecurities. We were confronted with sickness, death, loss of jobs, normalcy and no toilet paper. It’s easy to feel hopeless. Even now when there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel. For many, our lives were drastically flipped upside down. 


In Lamentations chapter 3, we see Jeremiah struggling to come to terms with the reality of what was going on in the world around him. “He has hedged me in so I cannot get out” (Lam 3:7). Jeremiah knew a thing or two about being in quarantine. “You have moved my heart far from peace; I have forgotten what happiness is; And I said my strength and my hope have perished from the Lord” (Lam. 3:17-18) Jeremiah was hopeless and the more he thought of his current circumstances the further into despair he went. 


It’s easy for us to get to that point. Where we can’t see God moving, not in our lives any way. We see breakthroughs for others, we see promises fulfilled for them, but we feel forgotten, lost and alone. In a year where we have been required to isolate, quarantine, and stay away from those we love, It’s easy to feel like Jeremiah, lost and forgotten. But the more we focus on our troubles, the more we will be convinced of our isolation and hopelessness. 


“The Steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23


But then… Jeremiah recalls the faithfulness of God. The God he knew, the God he preached, the God he believed in. He reminded himself that God’s steadfast love and mercies are new every morning. 


Everyday we are given a new opportunity to discover and experience more of God’s love. Even when there is uncertainty or sorrow we can still look around for signs of God’s mercy. In every sunrise, In every new flower that blooms, everytime a bird sings their spring song. I love that God wrote his promises in creation. He knew we would forget, but He tells creation to sing a new song every morning. He paints the sky with new colors. He gives the birds a new song to sing. To remind us of His faithfulness and steadfast love.


“Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge Him. As surely as the sun rises, He will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.” Hosea 6:3


Have you ever doubted that spring would come? I mean after the 3rd snow storm this winter I was convinced it would be the never ending winter. But I always knew eventually spring would show up, and with it sunshine, warm weather and the promise of new beginnings. I never once went to bed and doubted that the sun would come up the next morning. Have you?  Then why do we doubt that the creator of the sun, moon and stars would forget about us? “As surely as the sunrises He will appear.” He promises to be faithful to us, to be there in the midst of our despair, of our loneliness, our hopelessness. Even when we feel completely cut off from the rest of the world. Know that the God of creation sends us reminders of His steadfast love and mercies. It’s all around us. In the wind that rustles the trees, in every new blossom, in the waves that crash over the beach and the stars that shine in the darkest of night. They all declare His glory. They all remind us that we are NOT alone and that we are NOT forgotten. So don’t lose HOPE!

In the comments below, how are you holding onto hope?


Are We There Yet?

If you want to stir up a heated debate among faith circles, just throw out women in leadership and see what happens. It’s shocking, and personally I find it unfortunate how many polarizing views there are on this. 

I grew up outside of the church. Far away from youth groups, church camps and Veggie Tales. I grew up in a household that celebrated women. My two aunts, who still live in Italy, completely defied gender stereotypes and remained unmarried. They marched and protested for women’s rights in Italy and they walk with that same air of confidence today. My dad never once diminished me because of my gender. Growing up with such strong women in his family caused him to seek out a strong woman to marry, and later raise a strong daughter. I was taught to live fully me, and my brother was raised to respect and honor women. And then my mom … my mom who had to carry our family when my dad lost his job, and later when my dad was towards the end of his cancer journey. My mom, who continues to show me what strong women look like. Who defied norms by having a career, having children later in life, divorcing her first husband and later marrying my dad. My mom, who taught me hard work. Who taught me, not just with words but also with actions, that women could truly do anything they put their mind to. 

I went to a liberal undergraduate and graduate school. Both environments only shaped and fostered my passion for women’s empowerment as I learned the hard data of the injustices against women. As I experienced abuse, as I encountered oppression because of my gender. As I was told by police officers I “probably wanted it” in regards to me filing charges against the male high school teacher who raped me and abused me for years. Out of my home environment that never limited me because of my gender, I was faced with a world that oppressed me because of it. 

Salvation only encouraged these desires to see women fully freed and walking in their God-given calling. And before I go further, I want to preface this with the fact that I have done the theological research, I have listened to both sides. I am aware that there are certain God-given honors that I have for being born a woman. But, within the church, I never once thought I would have to fight harder to show that I was called and equipped.  As an undergrad on a pre-medicine track, I never had to justify wanting to become a physician (just the area of medicine I wanted to work in), so I never expected to have to justify or defend my calling within the church. 

I remember the day my pastor announced bringing me on from the pulpit, a man came up to me after service and told me I was “wasting my time doing something God didn’t want me to do” and to just go back to what I was doing before. At leader gatherings I was assumed to be a pastor’s wife as opposed to simply, a pastor. I remember in one of my seminary classes getting a failing grade on a test to “humble me”. And I vividly recall a professor accusing me of cheating because, “I couldn’t be that smart” and then proceeding to lecture me on why I couldn’t possibly be called to ministry or leadership because that simply couldn’t be my role as a woman. He told me he would fail me if I didn’t drop the course as a tool to show me that women weren’t meant to be leaders. I remember being told that certain qualities about me would never score me a Godly man. My ambition too much, my drive and desire to learn would only be seen as emasculating. The countless times I have had to defend myself and my calling. I remember leading a group, only to be told mid-discussion that I was wrong and then to be man-splained into their way of thinking. These are just some of the things I’ve endured. 


I don’t write this to condemn the church or to condemn men. I write this to ask the question, are we there yet? Are we at a place where women are walking fully in what God has called them to be? Are we seeing women walk freely, according to a biblical standard? Are we still misinterpreting scriptures to make people feel more comfortable as opposed to wrestling with context? 

As a female leader in the church, I don’t think we’re there yet. I think we’ve come an incredibly far way and we have seen so many improvements. But I don’t think we’ve arrived. 

I stand in awe of what the women before me have endured and gone through. And I am immeasurably grateful for their sacrifices to be able to be where I am today. And I am also incredibly grateful for the men who have stood up and defended women’s God-given rights to preach, teach and lead.

I love that I work for a church that supports women in ministry. Yet it grieves my heart so deeply that it is not the norm. It grieves me so deeply that women would have to change how God hard-wired them and created them in order to fit into a box that others feel comfortable with.

When Jesus showed up, the world wasn’t comfortable with Him. For so many, there was tension and near offense as to what He was saying. But that’s Jesus - the Gospel is offensive to a religious spirit. And taking that a step further, Jesus treated women completely different than his male counterparts of that time. Jesus encouraged women to lead and to speak; He first revealed Himself to women after the resurrection and gave them the Gospel message; He had a single woman as part of his entourage. As Florence Nightingale so eloquently put it, “Jesus Christ raised women above the condition of mere slaves … to be ministers of God.” 


So have we made it? No, I don’t think so. We’ve come an incredibly far way and I’ve never been more excited and expectant for a season in the church. But we still have a long way to go. 


My hope, my dream, is to see a world where women are embraced and given seats at the table - not because of a diversity clause, but because women’s voices are valued. Because women’s voices are important. I want to see a world where women are impacting all spheres of life - from the home to the boardrooms, from coffee shops to the United Nations and seats in government. I want to see a world where godly women walk out their God-given calling unashamed and unafraid; where women step into leadership not feeling like they need to defend or justify their callings, but simply recognizing they are called. I long for women to not be hindered by the cultural expectations and parameters, but fully walking in the truth of God. I want to see women set free by the word of God. Fully free. Fully alive.

In the comments below, share one of your dreams as a woman.

Women That Have Gone Before Me

Pioneer: to open or prepare for others to follow also

An orphan, prophetess, missionary, prisoner of war, immigrant. What do these five characteristics have in common? They describe 5 women that have impacted my life. That have encouraged and guided me in my walk with the Lord. They are women that have paved the way and gone before me. Esther, Anna, Elisabeth, Corrie and Ruth. Women who have all played a role in shaping me and my Christian walk.

  1. Esther

Esther was an orphaned girl who was thrust into royal life. Sure, she was made queen of one of the largest kingdoms of the time period (hey who doesn’t dream of being the queen/princess in the story). But it wasn’t all balls, fancy dresses, and high tea. She knew her position wouldn’t necessarily save her and her people from certain death. She had to act whether she wanted to or not, whether she had the courage to or not, whether she thought she was adequate for the job or not. 

She was born for such a time as this. To take on that leadership role and save an entire people. To step in the gap and use her God-given talents and abilities to change history. She was probably scared, petrified even. She could have been banished or sentenced to death at any turn. But she fasted and prayed and placed it in God’s hands. God placed her there and He would see her through it. 

If I’m being honest, I wish I was more like Esther sometimes. If God calls me to do something, He’ll see me through it. Instead many times I doubt and second guess the Lord and the call he has on my life. 


2. Anna

The Prophetess Anna, is only mentioned in 3 verses in the Bible, yet they are jam-packed verses. Luke chapter 2 tells her story, she was an old widow from the tribe of Asher. She was a prophetess that had been faithful to seeking God for years. The Bible describes her as not departing from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day. 

Anna knew God, and because she knew Him she recognized Jesus when they brought Him to the temple to be presented to God. She picked the family out of the crowd. She didn’t need a big sign that said “HERE IS THE MESSIAH”. Her intimacy with God gave her the insight to recognize him even in a small infant. She got to be a fulfillment of prophecy. Because she sought God and worshipped Him nonstop.

Can you imagine that kind of intimacy with God? Hearing his still small voice and not doubting that it’s Him?

3. Elisabeth Elliot

Elisabeth Elliot and her husband Jim were missionaries in Ecuador in the 50s. God called them to minister there to the Quechua Native Americans. When Jim and four other missionaries attempted to make contact with the tribe all five were speared to death, leaving Elisabeth widowed and their 10-month-old daughter orphaned. I can't even fathom such hurt or despair. 

“The deepest things that I have learned in my own life have come from the deepest suffering. And out of the deepest waters and the hottest fires have come the deepest things I know about God.”

Elisabeth Elliot

With that mindset, Elisabeth picked herself up and learned the language of the Quechua. She eventually moved into the tribe alongside her then 3-year-old daughter. Many in the tribe would come to know God as their Lord and Savior. 

Not a single person would have faulted her if she left Ecuador and never wanted to see the people that so brutally killed her husband and his four companions. Elisabeth knew what God had called her to do and she obeyed. Despite the hurt, despite how hard and how unfair it seemed. Because of her obedience, a people group that had never been reached was reached with the Gospel. 

What an incredible legacy to leave. It’s so easy to not tell someone about Jesus because they offended us. We can sit in our offense and say to ourselves: “we know they won't receive the Gospel.” But what if we obeyed when God spoke to us? What if we moved past our own pain and hurt to obey regardless of our feelings? What kind of impact could we leave in the world? 


4. Corrie Ten Boom

Corrie Ten Boom, her story is probably one of my favorites. I think it’s because I got to visit her house while I lived in Holland. Corrie was a Dutch watchmaker's daughter. Her father, sister, and her lived in the family home in Haarlem. When World War II broke out the Ten Boom family realized they couldn’t just sit back and let the injustices happening to their Jewish neighbors go on without doing something. So they were part of the underground movement to help people escape the Nazi Gestapo. Their home was a “hiding place,” a refuge for close to 800 Jewish refugees escaping Holland. 

Unfortunately, the Ten Boom family was betrayed and thrown into prison, and later sent to concentration camps. Her father died days after being betrayed and her sister Betsy died in the concentration camp.

 “In the concentration camp where I saw my sister starve to death, I had joy because I was more intimately acquainted with Jesus Christ.”

Corrie Ten Boom

Of her family, Corrie was the only one to survive.

“I didn’t know that a week before they killed all the women of my age, I would be set free by a miracle of God and a blunder of man.”

Despite having to walk through some of the worst forms of tortures and sorrow, Corrie had joy because of her trust in God. She acknowledged His sovereignty in all aspects of her life. Her trust in God is truly remarkable. She’s known for saying "there is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still". She chose joy because she knew the giver of joy was ultimately in control of all. 

5. Ruth


This is a life that influenced me in more ways than I’ll ever truly know. Ruth was born in Guatemala, and as a young adult, she moved to New York. While in New York she worked, saved money, and put her paperwork in to get a green card to live permanently in the country. After some time she moved back to Guatemala, got married, and had a child. That's when the U.S came calling, offering her a green card, the only thing was that the green card was only for her. So she dragged her husband and infant child to the embassy to meet with the officials and explain that she couldn’t go alone because now she had a family. 

In a miraculous way, the Lord opened the doors and the official said yes to her, her husband, and her child to get permanent residence in the USA. And anyone that has ever had to apply for a visa into any country can testify to that being completely unheard of.

But God is the God of the impossibilities. The little family moved to the US and every step of the way saw God’s hand of provision was over their family. God provided a good job for her husband that allowed the family the freedom to visit and not be too far from the family they left behind in Guatemala. Ruth had prayed and asked God for a home for her and her growing family, and in grand splendor, God answered her prayer and provided a newly built house as their home. 

Ruth had come to know God as a child in Guatemala. She had seen Him move in her parents and siblings lives. She had chosen to seek Him first above all else and she taught her children to do the same thing. So when her husband said “I’m leaving,” and sought a divorce, her life was surely shaken but not completely shattered. She once again placed her life in God’s hands. When she thought she wouldn’t be able to pay for the house, the gift God had given her, she placed it in God’s hands. God in all of His goodness provided.

See, I watched my mother first hand place all of those broken pieces in God’s hands expecting Him to handle them, to put them back together. Every morning I would see my mom on her knees in prayer. Her Bible was forever placed at the end of the table, always open to the current passage she was reading. Despite her circumstances she trusted God and His sovereignty. She knew He was good and that He would never abandon her. 

The lessons I have learned from these women are unmatched. My mom tangibly taught me to trust God in all circumstances, even when life seems unfair. She taught me the power of prayer. She taught me the gift it is to lay all of your burdens at the feet of the Creator of all things. Corrie encouraged me to stand up for the injustices in the world, even if that means there might be a personal cost. Elisabeth showed me the power of forgiveness and stepping in to the calling God has on my life. She taught me that obedience could potentially lead me to a life-changing adventure. And who isn’t up for an adventure? Anna taught me that knowing the Father’s voice is such a precious gift. One I don’t want to miss out on. Esther taught me that just because I’m a woman, it doesn’t mean God doesn’t have a plan for me that could potentially change nations and the course of history. 

In the comments below, share a woman who has impacted you tremendously.


I'm a 30-year-old single Christian woman

I’m a 30-year-old single Christian woman.

 

I know. I know what you’re thinking right now. “Woah. Still no husband? The pickings are slimmmmmm girl.”

 

And while they definitely are, I want to talk to my single girls today who are in their late 20s to early 30s, or even older. I want to talk about the struggle and the tension to fit in.

According to American church culture, I am way past my prime.

 

In fact, if I were in a regency era anything, I would be in my eighth season and nearly committing to a life of spinsterhood. And while sometimes I can laugh at the absurdity of this thought as I’m watching Pride and Prejudice. Sometimes, if I’m being completely honest, church culture feels the same.

 

It started off when I was newly single, 23, and newly saved. It started with non-stop questions. Was there anyone in my life? Was I talking to anyone? The questions slowly dwindled as time went on. Yes, that may have been more to do with the tone of my response. But soon, it was none. Occasionally I’ll get the “so anyone new?” question. But it’s rare. And with that, I have officially entered Christian “spinsterhood.”

 

But you know what? Screw that.

 

Marriage is beautiful and singleness is beautiful. Neither defines or diminishes the other. Both are seasons that we are brought to by God. They have their purposes. They have their timing. And they are both important.

 

Whatever season you find yourself in, for however long, there is a purpose.

 

I was listening to a book the other day and it spoke a lot about how women just “want to be beautiful, want to be pursued by a prince, and crave pretty things.” It spoke a lot about how the feminine body is supposed to be admired, and really gender-stereotyped like nobody’s business. Needless to say, I didn’t finish it (and it took a lot of willpower to not throw my phone against the wall).

 

But you know what stuck out to me the most? It was such a boxing-in of women. As if our  sole created purpose as women was to be pursued by future husbands, be beautiful, and talk about feelings and emotions all the time with our friends.

 

And I thought of how grieved God must be. Grieved that His daughters are taught that beauty and marriage are the only things that denote worth. Heartbroken that His daughters believe that their worth is determined by how perfectly demure they are. Gutted that His daughters don’t know the fullness of themselves because of a culture that has told them what cultural-Christianity expects of them.

 

So, here are three truths I am carrying with me this year:

 

1. My worth was never meant to be in anything but Jesus.

 

Plain and simple.

 

Want to know something kinda crazy? Jesus was a single 30 year-old man too. And you know what? I would say His ministry and His life were pretty dang successful as the Son of God.

 

But our culture has put such worth and value on marriage for women that it’s treated as if that is the one thing our lives should strive for.

 

And while marriage is beautiful, Jesus shows us that it isn’t the penultimate of life. Jesus’ life shows us that fullness and wholeness can happen outside of marriage. And wholeness is realized when we hunger for Jesus not hunger for a ring, or a family, or a wedding.

 

2. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the heroine. Just like there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the pursued princess.

 

I grew up with all boys. Which was interesting. Yes, I played with Barbies. But more than not we were playing Power Rangers. Yes, I always wanted to be Kimberly the Pink Ranger. But I also wanted to help take down the bad guys.

 

Did I want to make the fatal blow? Yes. Did I want to be held captive by the bad guy and wait to be rescued? No.

 

Princess Peach always seemed pointless to me.

I wanted all the Eowyn vibes. (You know … Lord of the Rings, in the last movie the woman who kills the ringwraith.)

 

And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with either of those realities, wishes or desires.

 

I have friends that wanted nothing more than to be wives and mothers and be pursued. And there is such beauty in all of their stories. I also have friends that are outside of that box.

 

And you know what? That’s what makes God so amazing.

 

When we box femininity, we box God’s creative ability.

 

3. It’s okay to live in the tension of desire and contentment.

 

I say all of this wanting to get married one day and have a family of my own. And it’s hard, for me, to live in this tension of being content in my present yet desiring for marriage in my future.

 

I have to daily choose to trust God that He has the best plans for me and that He has placed the desire for marriage within me. And since God isn’t cruel, He will be faithful.

 

So, with all things, we have to embrace this tension, even if it gets uncomfortable.

 

Because the truth is – He’s got beautiful stories for all of us. And I know that, because God is wildly creative – I mean, just look around you.

 

Each story is beautiful. And no one’s story takes away from yours and vice versa.

 

So maybe your Valentine’s Day was spent with your spouse, or maybe it was spent with your favorite rom-com on. Or maybe it was spent with your friends. However you celebrated, know that your worth isn’t defined by it. Know that you are valued just as you are, in the season you are in. And know that God wants to invite you into the tension of desire and contentment, but with Him.

5 Ways to Bring the Bible Into Your Daily Life

January 1st, 2021 has come and gone. And I want to be completely honest - I did not make any resolutions. 



For the past few years, I’ve been the one who buys the Cultivate What Matters Journal, setting intentional goals, listing the 15 things I want to focus on. I was so focused on finding my word for the year and figuring out all I would get done within the coming year. 



For 2021, my approach has been completely different.



First of all, the holidays were hard. The first one without my dad was more challenging than I thought it would be. So I just rested. I didn’t work. I was simply present in the moments with my family.



So I didn’t do much of anything in terms of vision planning and praying for specific things. I was just simply asking for wisdom, direction, and grace. I was praying to simply dream again. 



And you want to know what I felt God speak to me? 



Before you go about making resolutions, first resolve to read the Word. Every. Day. 



A resolution, for me, is much different than resolving to do something. A resolution in my mind looks like a checklist. It looks like charts and pretty ways to hold myself accountable for a week. But to resolve to do something? That word brings this image to mind of a soldier who has their eyes set on something, determined to go after it. 



So instead of resolutions. I am resolving to do a few things this year. And one of those is to be in the Word every single day. 



Now, I know how this can be challenging for some people. 



My day job is as a pastor, so I talk to a lot of people who don’t even know where to begin, who have trouble incorporating it into their schedule, and those who are just overwhelmed by it! 



Before I get into the five helpful tips to opening your bible, I want to talk about the why for a bit. 



So why is it important to read your word? 



The Bible is life giving, it is essential, it is absolutely necessary for our sustenance and our lives. Scripture is how we come to know God, it’s how we come to know the person of Jesus. Scripture shows us the heart of God and it shows us who we are in light of Him. 



I was listening to a podcast recently (which you can find here), and they were discussing the importance of being in the Word. The speaker was talking about how we have to correlate reading the Word to water or food. If we’re bad with our hydration one day, we don’t give up drinking water for the rest of our lives. If we “mess up” with eating well it’s not like we can’t just start again the next time we eat. And so that is the same way we approach Scripture. 



Don’t give up just because you fell off your bible reading plan on day 5. Don’t stop reading just because you feel like it’s stagnant and you haven’t seen growth. Scripture reading begets scripture reading. 



And here’s the thing - it isn’t formulaic. There’s no one size fits all approach to reading the Word. You just have to do it. 



Life is a marathon, it’s not a sprint. And you develop your muscles for a marathon over time. So take that same approach with getting into the word. You just simply have to start. 



So, here are five tips to staying in the Word: 



  1. Give yourself grace.

The reality is there might be days where you forget to do your Bible reading plan. There might be days you don’t have a lightbulb moment. And that’s okay. Give yourself grace, forgive yourself, and then get back to it. 



  1. Know yourself.



Are you a morning person? An evening person? Do you like to read on your phone? Or do you prefer a physical Bible? Do you like to listen to the Bible? 



Figure out what works for you, and do it. This is where you’re growing your relationship with Jesus. And every relationship is different. So your quiet time isn’t going to look like every other person on Instagram. 



Also, you have to be realistic. If you aren’t a morning person, then don’t set your alarm for 5am to spend time in the Word. Read your Bible before you go to sleep at night. 



I’m not a morning person, but I love starting my day off in the Word. So I’ll set my alarm an hour earlier and spend time with Jesus then. One of my good friends finds that she connects with Jesus more when she reads the Bible at night. The key here is that we know ourselves. 



Right now, I’ve been listening through the Bible. This has been a different approach to me, but I read along, and different themes have jumped out to me. Don’t be afraid to change it up. 



  1. Learn to prioritize your time. 



This is where I’m gonna get a little confrontational. Look at your phone and see how much time you spend scrolling on social media. People will often say they don’t have time when in reality, they do.



Instead of watching another episode on Netflix? Read your Word. 

Instead of scrolling aimlessly on Instagram or TikTok? Open your Bible. 



It has to be a priority for you. 



  1. Find a community.



A great way to stay accountable is to read along with people. And I volunteer as tribute! I’m so down to be your accountability partner in this. Send an email, send a DM on Instagram - let me know what you’re reading and I’ll check in! 



You could also set up a reading plan with friends. Read the same book together and start a group chat, letting each other know what you’re getting from it. 



  1. Like Nike says, just do it. 



It’s as simple as just starting. I recently heard it said that seven minutes every day for a month is better than 2 hours for 3 days. Just start. You won’t regret it. 




Let me know in the comments below what book of the Bible you’re planning on starting with! And keep your eyes open for more resources in the weeks to come! :) 



He's Been Faithful, I Am Grateful

When the new widgets came out on the iPhone last month I went to town trying to make a super aesthetic Home Screen. I wanted to have a quote or bible verse in the middle, but I wanted it to be something meaningful and an important reminder that I could see every day.  I didn’t want it to just say something just to say something. “He’s been faithful, I am grateful” is what came to me and it has been the perfect reminder for me to remember who God is and what my response is to Him.


This past summer I read the book In His Image: 10 Ways God Calls us to Reflect His Character, by Jen Wilkin, and one of the characteristics of God she says we are called to reflect is His faithfulness. I love this because I think it’s important to remember when talking about the faithfulness of God that we are called to be faithful as well. God is faithful because He is with us always, and He does all He says He will do. We are called to be faithful to God and others as a reflection of His faithfulness.


Jen also talks about how we are prone to forgetfulness. We forget how faithful God has been in the past but the Bible is full of stories of His faithfulness and Him reminding His people of all He has done. We also can look back to how He has been faithful in our own lives.


Three years ago my family and I went on a cruise, and I was so excited for it. It was pretty last minute and spontaneous, for us at least, we planned it less than 2 months before we’d be going, and we knew with my brother and I getting older it may be one of the last big family vacations with the 4 of us. The second night on the cruise my dad began to not feel well, and the next morning he went to the ship doctor. Within an hour they went from saying he was going to be ok to transferring him to the ICU in a small hospital in St. Kitt’s. I remember standing in the bathroom of our room packing up all the things that I had just unpacked less than 36 hours earlier in unbelief that all of this was even happening and feeling anxious going from what was supposed to be a fun-filled planned week of vacation to the unplanned of going to an unknown island with my dad in a hospital that looked nothing like what we’re used to here, and not knowing if he would be ok. 


But God. He was orchestrating a moment to show off and show how good He is and remind me that He is faithful. As I stood in that bathroom He gave me peace that whatever happened, we would be ok. But on the inside, I was still freaking out.


Because it was the beginning of hurricane season, there weren’t many people at our hotel, so most of the employees learned who we were and why we were there. Every time we walked through the hotel lobby one of the people at the front desk would ask how my dad was doing and say to us: “trust God, He will take care of him.” No matter who we shared the reason for being on St. Kitt’s with, they would say the same thing: “God’s in control and He will heal him.” 


It was amazing to see their complete faith and trust in God. They didn’t know us; they didn’t even know we were Christians. It was so challenging to my own faith. I knew that God was in control but the authority that they spoke with showed a greater faith. 


Four days later my dad was doing better and ready to be discharged. He walked out of the hospital and thanked the doctor who cared for him and said “thank you, you are a miracle worker,” to which the doctor pointed up and replied, “No, that’s Him.” In the unknown, in the uncertainty, in my own questioning of God, of where He was and why my dad was sick, He completely surrounded me and my family.


What if some were unfaithful? Does their faithfulness nullify that faithfulness of God? By no means!”

Romans 3:3


I love this verse and it reminds me that even when I am struggling to believe Him, He still is who He is. It also reminds me of the story in Mark when Jesus encounters the boy with the unclean spirit and his father comes to Jesus begging him if he can do anything to help his son and Jesus responds: if I can?, which is when the father says my favorite line “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). And Jesus, he’s so faithful, he immediately casts the spirit out of the boy. See, God is faithful to meet us where we’re at. He doesn’t require a specific level of faith.


I am so challenged by the response of both the people in St. Kitt’s and the father in Mark 9. See, I believe it is out of gratitude of what God has done that we are able to remain faithful that God will again be with us, provide, and deliver us through whatever season we are in today.


And I challenge you to that, remember His faithfulness, fill and remind your spirit with what God has done in your life. Turn to the Bible for even more evidence of His faithfulness. He is faithful, and I believe that as you do this, your faith in Him will grow.


Your faithfulness endures to all generations; You established the earth, and it abides.

Psalm 119:90

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

The Authority of Scripture

Words are powerful.

Words have the power to forge new connections and destroy relationships. To start wars and usher in eras of peace. To encourage and support, and to tear down dreams.

And words are important. Whether we realize it or not, they’re the foundation of how we experience and understand the world around us. Everything we see, think, and believe – it’s all filtered through words.

So, words are powerful, and they’re important. But words aren’t always true. And most of the time, we’re consuming words that were put into the world by someone else, words that need to be dissected and discerned and considered – and, most importantly, held up to the Bible. The Word of God, which has absolute authority and establishes our objective truth.

How often do we really take the time to do that, though?

God’s words are powerful beyond anything we can comprehend. The very world that we move through was spoken into existence by God, and His words are so powerful, and contain so much authority, that those natural laws and processes are still in existence today, things that people devote their entire lives and careers trying to discover and better understand (Genesis 1). And if all of creation knows God’s sovereignty and power and responds to a single word, sometimes I find myself asking… why is it so hard for us to fully respect the authority of scripture, God’s very words to us? (2 Timothy 3:16-17; 1 Thessalonians 2:13)

And girl, I get it. It can be so, so tempting to believe in relative truth. In fact, sometimes it even feels like it makes a whole lot of sense. And if you’re not plugged into God’s word, it can be really hard to disagree with something that the majority of our culture (probably even our close friends and family!) have so deeply subscribed to. If I’m being honest, sometimes it can be hard to disagree with the idea of relative truth even when you are plugged into the Word.

Sometimes, when you come across something that’s so counter-cultural, or seemingly counter-intuitive, it’s jarring. And it might not make sense to you. But the truth in anything, the absolute truth, can only come from scripture (Psalm 119:160, Hebrews 6:18*, Matthew 28:18/John 1:1**).

Let’s be real: this can lead to super uncomfortable moments where you may be questioning what’s right, if there’s maybe a different interpretation that justifies what you want scripture to mean rather than the truth of God’s word. But the more you know God’s character—know His mercy and love and justice and grace—and the more you understand His desire to have close relationship with you, you can begin to understand that these moments of discomfort aren’t meant to punish you, but to refine you and bring you closer to the relationship God wants with you. (Romans 15:4, Romans 12:2, Romans 5:8, Jeremiah 31:3, Jeremiah 33:3)

It’s so important to approach scripture with humility and an open, teachable heart, so that when we do hit those sections and verses that make us feel a little defensive, or doubtful, we can bring it to God in prayer, knowing that God’s Word is objective truth. That no matter how we feel about it, the purpose of scripture is to change us, not for us to change or dismiss the meaning of scripture. And this humility will in turn allow us to receive deeper revelations of God’s character, His desires for our lives and how we walk through them, a greater (healthy) fear of God/reverence for Him. We’ll begin to experience more of the joy and peace that is promised through Him because we will have aligned ourselves better with His will and purpose.  

Do you ever find yourself wavering between relative truth and God’s objective truth? What are some situations where you’ve had to buckle down and submit to God’s authority through His scriptures? 

* God cannot lie; therefore, all of His Word is true
** Jesus is the Word, and all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Him


Author: Jenna Marie

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