If you want to stir up a heated debate among faith circles, just throw out women in leadership and see what happens. It’s shocking, and personally I find it unfortunate how many polarizing views there are on this.
I grew up outside of the church. Far away from youth groups, church camps and Veggie Tales. I grew up in a household that celebrated women. My two aunts, who still live in Italy, completely defied gender stereotypes and remained unmarried. They marched and protested for women’s rights in Italy and they walk with that same air of confidence today. My dad never once diminished me because of my gender. Growing up with such strong women in his family caused him to seek out a strong woman to marry, and later raise a strong daughter. I was taught to live fully me, and my brother was raised to respect and honor women. And then my mom … my mom who had to carry our family when my dad lost his job, and later when my dad was towards the end of his cancer journey. My mom, who continues to show me what strong women look like. Who defied norms by having a career, having children later in life, divorcing her first husband and later marrying my dad. My mom, who taught me hard work. Who taught me, not just with words but also with actions, that women could truly do anything they put their mind to.
I went to a liberal undergraduate and graduate school. Both environments only shaped and fostered my passion for women’s empowerment as I learned the hard data of the injustices against women. As I experienced abuse, as I encountered oppression because of my gender. As I was told by police officers I “probably wanted it” in regards to me filing charges against the male high school teacher who raped me and abused me for years. Out of my home environment that never limited me because of my gender, I was faced with a world that oppressed me because of it.
Salvation only encouraged these desires to see women fully freed and walking in their God-given calling. And before I go further, I want to preface this with the fact that I have done the theological research, I have listened to both sides. I am aware that there are certain God-given honors that I have for being born a woman. But, within the church, I never once thought I would have to fight harder to show that I was called and equipped. As an undergrad on a pre-medicine track, I never had to justify wanting to become a physician (just the area of medicine I wanted to work in), so I never expected to have to justify or defend my calling within the church.
I remember the day my pastor announced bringing me on from the pulpit, a man came up to me after service and told me I was “wasting my time doing something God didn’t want me to do” and to just go back to what I was doing before. At leader gatherings I was assumed to be a pastor’s wife as opposed to simply, a pastor. I remember in one of my seminary classes getting a failing grade on a test to “humble me”. And I vividly recall a professor accusing me of cheating because, “I couldn’t be that smart” and then proceeding to lecture me on why I couldn’t possibly be called to ministry or leadership because that simply couldn’t be my role as a woman. He told me he would fail me if I didn’t drop the course as a tool to show me that women weren’t meant to be leaders. I remember being told that certain qualities about me would never score me a Godly man. My ambition too much, my drive and desire to learn would only be seen as emasculating. The countless times I have had to defend myself and my calling. I remember leading a group, only to be told mid-discussion that I was wrong and then to be man-splained into their way of thinking. These are just some of the things I’ve endured.
I don’t write this to condemn the church or to condemn men. I write this to ask the question, are we there yet? Are we at a place where women are walking fully in what God has called them to be? Are we seeing women walk freely, according to a biblical standard? Are we still misinterpreting scriptures to make people feel more comfortable as opposed to wrestling with context?
As a female leader in the church, I don’t think we’re there yet. I think we’ve come an incredibly far way and we have seen so many improvements. But I don’t think we’ve arrived.
I stand in awe of what the women before me have endured and gone through. And I am immeasurably grateful for their sacrifices to be able to be where I am today. And I am also incredibly grateful for the men who have stood up and defended women’s God-given rights to preach, teach and lead.
I love that I work for a church that supports women in ministry. Yet it grieves my heart so deeply that it is not the norm. It grieves me so deeply that women would have to change how God hard-wired them and created them in order to fit into a box that others feel comfortable with.
When Jesus showed up, the world wasn’t comfortable with Him. For so many, there was tension and near offense as to what He was saying. But that’s Jesus - the Gospel is offensive to a religious spirit. And taking that a step further, Jesus treated women completely different than his male counterparts of that time. Jesus encouraged women to lead and to speak; He first revealed Himself to women after the resurrection and gave them the Gospel message; He had a single woman as part of his entourage. As Florence Nightingale so eloquently put it, “Jesus Christ raised women above the condition of mere slaves … to be ministers of God.”
So have we made it? No, I don’t think so. We’ve come an incredibly far way and I’ve never been more excited and expectant for a season in the church. But we still have a long way to go.
My hope, my dream, is to see a world where women are embraced and given seats at the table - not because of a diversity clause, but because women’s voices are valued. Because women’s voices are important. I want to see a world where women are impacting all spheres of life - from the home to the boardrooms, from coffee shops to the United Nations and seats in government. I want to see a world where godly women walk out their God-given calling unashamed and unafraid; where women step into leadership not feeling like they need to defend or justify their callings, but simply recognizing they are called. I long for women to not be hindered by the cultural expectations and parameters, but fully walking in the truth of God. I want to see women set free by the word of God. Fully free. Fully alive.
In the comments below, share one of your dreams as a woman.
