Ever have thoughts like .. “Yeah… God is good, but He’s good to everyone but me.” Or, “Yeah, He’s good in a far-away, big-picture kind of way.” 

I think when we’re in the trenches and in the thick of it, it’s hard to remember God’s kindness. It’s easy to look at situations and circumstances and then question whether or not God really is kind to me, whether He really loves me. Not a doubt that He loves, or that He’s kind. But a doubt that His kindness and love can extend to me. As if you are the one exception to the rule who got in by the seat of her pants. 

I remember when I was doing missions work in Cape Town, South Africa there was a girl there who I interacted with frequently and got to know pretty well. One thing she would do is write out her own versions of the psalms. There was something anxiety-inducing about that for me, but also awe-inducing. Her relationship with Jesus was so evidently beautiful and intimate, and you saw how she lived in His love for her and His kindness towards her. 

One of the several times we sat together, we talked about how she was starting this journey of writing out her own psalms - not in a “I’m going to copy the Bible type way” (it’s ridiculous how much my then research-oriented, academic heart was terrified of plagiarising Jesus LOL). 

She told me she was writing out her own psalms, because it gave her parameters to flesh out her feelings with God. She would write, like David, about the troubles of her heart and the frustrating parts of her circumstances as she was walking through a challenging time. But she would also write, like David, and exalt God. Ending her psalms with how good He has been and how good He will be.

I took those moments about her psalm-writing home with me and they never really left. 

Fast forward to now, and I’m reading through this book Suffering by Paul David Tripp. It’s taking me a while because it is so rich, deep and helpful. He doesn’t condemn sufferers, he walks with them, encourages them, and pastorally reminds them of God. But tucked inside his book, is a chapter on fear and how fear leads us to forgetfulness, and this is what he says: 

“Perhaps there is no greater weakness in the heart and life of a sufferer than forgetfulness. Because suffering assaults your mind with so many new things to consider, to face, to decide, to wonder about, or to fear, it’s so easy to lose sight of and to practically forget the things that have been your motivation, your comfort, your security, and your rock of hope. This is such a problem that the psalms, which portray for us the battle for a heart of faith in the midst of the trials of life, talk repeatedly about the need to remember. … If you are going to fight forgetfulness, you’re going to have to do this again and again. Doing so is not a denial of present difficulty; rather it forces you to look at it through the lens of the presence, power and love of your Savior.” (63)

Paul David Tripp, Suffering

Do you know what my friend in South Africa was teaching me and herself? How to combat forgetfulness. 

Do you want to know what David reminds us to do over and over again in the psalms? Combat forgetfulness. 

Valleys and desert seasons feel barren. It’s hard to remember what God has done, if there has been any good that has come from it, and if His faithfulness and favor will be experienced in the future. But just because it feels a certain way, doesn’t mean we should stop ourselves from  remembering His love, kindness and faithfulness. 

Hard seasons don’t erase all that God has done, even if the memories seem like a mirage or an illusion. 

So we’re going to practice remembrance alongside my friend and alongside David. We’re going to write out our own fight songs. And we’re going to use Psalm 136 as an example. 

Before we do that though, I want to come alongside you and say - don’t worry about it being perfect. Don’t worry about whether or not it makes sense - as long as it makes sense to you. 

You’re not remembering your history with Jesus for others, you’re remembering your history with Jesus to fight forgetfulness. 

It doesn’t have to read like David. It doesn’t have to read like C.S. Lewis or any other person out there. It should read like you. And no one has to see it but you. 

Write what comes to mind and take any pressure off of yourself to make it sound “pretty.” It’s going to be beautiful simply because you wrote it, and God honors that. 

Grab your Bible, a pen, and a journal. Open up to Psalm 136, and write your fight song. Remember His goodness and His kindness. Remember what He’s brought you out of. Remind yourself that His steadfast love really does endure forever and those aren’t just pretty words or platitudes we use. Recount the ways He has been faithful, and then watch as your spirit comes alive again with hope. 

Here’s my fight song as an example: 

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,

For his steadfast love endures forever. 

Give thanks to the Creator of everything,

For His steadfast love endures forever. 

Give thanks to the King of kings, 

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who breathed life into my lungs,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who knit me together in my mom’s womb,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who authored every day of my life before I breathed my first breath,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who never considered me a mistake, but a gift;

For His steadfast love endures forever; 

To Him who pursued me and wanted my heart,

For His steadfast love endures forever,

And never gave up on me,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who paid the ultimate ransom for my soul,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

Because He considers me worthy,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who bottles up every tear,

For His steadfast love endures forever; 

To Him who draws near in my times of pain,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who is my protection,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

Who protected me from my ex,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

And protects me from my enemies,

For His steadfast love endures forever; 

To Him who made a way,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who miraculously healed my hip,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who called me His own,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

And gave me a purpose and a vision for my life,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who provided for me miraculously, 

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who let me see my dad’s salvation moment,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

And healed father wounds that were deep,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who supernaturally provided a way out of research,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

To Him who called me to California,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

And is drawing nearer to me,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

And revealing His kindness in beautiful ways,

For His steadfast love endures forever;

Give thanks to God,

For HIs steadfast love endures forever!